Where Is My Mom's Manual

I grew up in a house as the oldest child. I can remember my mom always being way harder on me than my little brother. It often created a major rift between me and my mom because I felt so unfairly treated. I think for this reason I was a daddies girl but also I think he saw how much harder my mom was on me and he had to compensate for it with me.

Today, I have two boys. It was just Luke and me for the first 4 almost 5 years of his life. We were very close and I did everything for this child. We were really tight and then his baby brother was born. Now I had to find a way to divide myself between two children. Something that truly is not as easy as one might think.

As Thomas has grown, I have found he gets the majority of my attention and Luke not as much. I have also found that I am so much harder on Luke. I yell at him more because he is supposed to know better. He should do more for himself and should be more grown up. When he doesn't do these things I become very frustrated with him and I am often really hard on him.

This really bothers me because I am treating Luke just like my mom did me. I now see her side of it but it still doesn't make it any better for Luke. I have to remind myself, yes he should know better, and yes he can do these things for himself but he is still only six years old.

Recently the two of them together have pushed every button I have and I end the day frustrated and flat out exhausted. I don't want to be like this and I have got to figure out how to be easier on Luke, but he can't just get away with things either.

So my question to all you moms with two or more kids. How do you divide yourself among your children? How do you make sure they feel equally loved by you? Its not that I don't love them equally but I do not manage my time well between them and I am a lot less patient with one over the other.

DADDY WATER

When Luke was two he could not tell us he wanted Fruit2O flavored water. His dad loves the stuff and drinks it often but I don't like it and drink regular water. Because he couldn't say Fruit2O Luke called it "daddy water" and he was very specific that he did not want "mommy water" as it was just water. Soon we were all referencing flavored water as "daddy water".

Even now at the age of 6 Luke calls it "daddy water" just as we all still do.

Then the other day Thomas's babysitter asks me, "what is daddy water". I just laughed because clearly flavored water will always be called "daddy water" in our house.

Crazy about Hat's

Someone has a new found interest in hats.

Especially the kind that are way to big for his little head.

Bye-Bye Bottle

Right now I really have nothing new to share or post about. Since I can't seem to think of anything new and exciting I will share some good news that happened last month but I never found the time to post about it.

As you all remember my husband and I took our weekend trip to Nashville, TN.

(Side note: I still owe you all pictures for that but can't find my adapter to get the pictures out of my old camera. This is why I don't like to use that camera but we did so until I find the adapter they are stuck inside my camera.)

Anyway we took our trip and my parents watched my boys. My wonderful mother decided she was going to try and break my son of his bottle habit. This was one of those things that I needed to do but I was so afraid to do. His habit was strong and I wasn' t up for that all night fight, the crying and the saying no.

Well my mom took a bottle to her house but hid it and anytime Thomas asked she said it had gone bye-bye. He went for three days and had no bottle. I was so impressed and thrilled but I also new that he would push me harder for it when I came home.

Sunday night we return home and he instantly asks me for his ba-ba. I tell him it went bye-bye and we had a 45 minute melt down but I new I had to hold strong.

He still asks me almost every day for a ba-ba and I have to tell him it went bye-bye. He has come to accept this and the ba-ba is no long in the picture thanks to my mom. The best part was we actually broke him of the bottle before he turned two. I thought for sure I was going to have a two year old walking around with a bottle.

My biggest issue with taking it away is he will not drink milk from a cup for me. He still refused to drink milk for me in a cup. The good news is he will drink milk in a cup at the sitters and at grandma's houses.

Have you had a hard time breaking your kids of something?

Saying A Bad Word

Something I learned long ago is our little ones look up to us as role models and they do mimic the things we say and do.

I am not a person who uses curse words, well very little anyway. I don’t drop the “F” word ever, I don’t say “S#!@” but on occasion I do say “Damn it”. Funny thing is Luke has taught me to say “barnacles” because he says that often and it is a Sponge Bob phrase.

I should have learned years ago. When Luke was two I said “Damn it” often. Sure enough at the age of two Luke started saying “damn it” and he said it often. I felt very bad about teaching my child to use this word. From that point on I became very conscious about what I said and really made an effort not to say these things.

However I am human (not perfect) and it is one of those things that slip’s out when I get really frustrated. Typically occurs at times when my child has decided to dump the dog’s water bowl all over the floor for the third time. Yes, it is these times when the “Damn it” flies from my tong and it comes across in a very frustrated tone.

Wouldn’t you know it, at the age of two, Thomas dropped the word “damn it”. He was getting mad about something and sure enough in his moment of anger he yelled it out. I instantly corrected Thomas and this has only encouraged him to say it more. At that point I ignored him and he stopped saying it.

It is just funny to me (OK not funny) how both my boys have learned this word from me and at the very young age of two. My efforts are good but obviously not good enough and I must try harder.

I grew up in a house with parents who cursed all the time but we were not allowed to say those words. I always thought that was a double standard and I still to this day feel like it is a double standard. Because I feel this way, I need to set an example and not use this type of language in front of my kids. Good news is my parents have grown with age and also curb their words especially around the kids.

Have your kids ever picked up a behavior from you that you wished they had not?